Imagine this scenario: you walk into a networking event feeling nervous and out of place. You put on a name tag, make small talk, and try to impress strangers with a good first impression. You might be thinking: “What do I say? Do I belong here?”
Many women struggle with and dislike traditional networking. This is not because they lack ambition, but more so because networking can feel transactional, void of human connection, and generally uncomfortable.
But what if networking doesn’t have to feel that way?
Reframing Networking: It’s Not About Selling Yourself
Let’s shift the perspective on networking: it’s not about promoting yourself to strangers but building relationships. Networking is, at its core, simply having intentional, pointed conversations. A great way to do this is by emphasizing your humanity over your performance. At a networking event, it’s easy to slip into “résumé mode,” where you might feel pressure to list titles and professional accomplishments, especially if you’re in the middle of a job search. Instead, lead with connection-building and truthful statements, like “I’m figuring out what’s next in my career and trying to learn what kinds of work feel meaningful to me now.” This opens doors for questions, advice, and encouragement. Growth happens in community, and building your support system can help just as much as building your skills.
Why Networking Feels Especially Challenging for Women
History shows that women’s contributions are systemically overlooked at work1 due to instances like companies not supporting women’s advancement2, and women feeling pressure to be quiet or invisible at work. This leads to women experiencing things like imposter syndrome in professional spaces, a fear of taking up space, and worrying that career breaks or transitions (due to instances like having children, unexpected job loss, etc.) create gaps that employers will focus on.
You’re not alone if you’re feeling any of those things. It takes confidence to break through these barriers, and that’s one of the key focuses of Rung’s program: building women’s confidence. Remember, confidence follows action and practice, not the other way around.
Tips for Surviving Your Next Networking Event
Let’s dig into some ways you can feel most confident at your next networking event.
- Start Small
- Create meaningful conversations: leave lasting impressions instead of speed running through every connection possible. This emphasizes quality over quantity.
- Set a manageable goal: create meaningful conversations with one or two people. Practice connecting with individuals rather than working the entire room.
- Lead with Curiosity vs. Credentials
- Avoid the usual “elevator pitch” and practice interacting with genuine questions and conversation topics.
- Examples include: “What interested you about this event in particular?” or “What are you currently working on that excites you?”
- Remember, people remember how a conversation makes them feel, rather than numbers on a résumé.
- Think Outside the Networking Box
- Networking doesn’t only have to happen at formal events!
- Try being involved in new spaces where community is the focus, such as workshops, educational environments, volunteer opportunities, etc.
- Every connection you make is an opportunity to share your story and make a positive impression.
- Follow Up Like a Human
- Follow up with your connections in a timely manner. You don’t necessarily need to email your new contact that same day, but following up within a week shows initiative and an interest in maintaining contact. This also keeps your conversation and image fresh in their mind.
- Reference an important topic of conversation in your message, helping them remember the genuine connection you made.
- Be authentic. Showcasing who you are, and your personality is more memorable than a cut-and-paste, too-polished message.
Let’s imagine that scenario from the beginning again. Now you have the tools, the know-how, and the confidence to walk into your next networking event. You’re the same person, but with a different mindset. You’ve learned that networking isn’t just about impressing others or being the loudest in the room—it’s about showing up as yourself, prioritizing genuine connections, and fostering those relationships over time.
Here at Rung, we help women build those skills and confidence. Our program lets women practice connection in safe and encouraging environments, allowing them to be seen and supported.
If you’re a woman in the St. Louis area who is looking to make a career pivot, network more strongly, and find your people, we invite you to fill out a Member Interest Form.
Citations:
1. https://hbr.org/2018/08/sgc-8-28-why-women-stay-out-of-the-spotlight-at-work
2. https://www.mckinsey.com/capabilities/people-and-organizational-performance/our-insights/women-in-the-workplace